I like to keep things simple brothers so here is a great list compiled by an amazing client who I love and adore dearly – he wishes to remain anonymous. Here are 4 Powerful Tips to End Your Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction. Share your helpful tips below in the comments.
1. Stop lying. Tell the truth.
We lie—a lot, and it makes us sick. We lie in big and small ways. We lie about what we think and how we feel. We lie to ourselves and other people about who we are. We lie by confusing our self-image with ourselves.
We lie by clinging to “hard-learned lessons” and identifying with them even though they may no longer apply. We lie by being certain when we are not. Stop lying. Tell the truth.
2. Be a miner of sex. (This one I learned directly from a professional female relationship coach.)
One of the biggest challenges for people struggling with compulsive sexual behavior is the problem of reconciling their sexual urges with their sobriety. You fear your own sexuality because of the havoc you perceive it has wreaked on your life. The truth is that sex is ENERGY. Energy is good. We crave it.
Energy is what makes life worth living. It’s what gets you out of bed in the morning and gives you a sense of purpose. I want you to imagine that you are a miner.
You are mining for energy. As you go through the day, and you feel that flit of energy in your gut when a really sexually attractive person catches your eye, store that energy. Put it in your psychological “satchel.” It’s free energy. No shame. No challenge of reconciliation. Even if you’re married, there is no shame in storing that energy.
The energy is independent of its source. I’m not talking about lust or fantasy. Lust and fantasy happen when you let that energy leak out of your system—when you fail to store it for later appropriate use. The physiological sexual energy in your body is independent of the experience that triggered it. It’s free energy. Mine it, store it, and honor it. Be a miner of sex.
3. Ritualize healthy sex.
We ritualize our meals. We ritualize sleep. We ritualize drinking water. And yet when it comes to sex or sexual behavior, we believe that our “mood” should govern things. You should still eat even if you don’t feel hungry—assuming that you haven’t eaten in a while.
You should still sleep even if you don’t feel tired—assuming that you haven’t slept for a while. These are basic human needs. Ritualize your healthy sexual behavior. Set aside time for it. Once a week is a conservative frequency that works for me. If you’re single or not, ritualize healthy sex.
4. Believe in love again.
Over time we become embittered about love. Our beliefs about the potential for love to transform our lives become shattered. We become cynical about it, even if only in small ways. We distrust it. All it takes is a few bad experiences. Even if you’re married, the true potential for your bond to transform both your lives is never fully actualized. Resentments grow like weeds beneath the surface, and over time the spark fades.
The truth is that love is powerful, and the reason that we don’t reap its full benefits or let it shape our lives and blossom is because we stop believing that it can. Our faith in love’s power has diminished. Believe in love again. It will change your life.
