Porn is everywhere. The ubiquity of porn nowadays has, for way too many men, transformed it from just being a form of occasional diversion to a complete object of addiction.
It is very easy to access pornography via the Internet and to view it through devices like smartphones, tablet computers, game consoles, and laptops. In fact, more than a quarter of web searches today are for erotic or salacious content. This translates to more than 68 million Internet requests for porn every single day.
The exponential growth of porn can be traced back to the fact that a lot of people find it too hard to resist. The promise of sexual gratification with no judgement from a partner and no commitment involved whatsoever almost always guarantees that the porn-watching cycle will continue for addicted people.
Many of these individuals are not even aware that they have a problem. Some do have an inkling that something is wrong, and they try to find some help to get to the bottom of it. However, they are sometimes only made aware that they have certain specific conditions, whether it’s depression, social anxiety disorder, erectile dysfunction, and so on — not really so much that these conditions are being caused by their porn addiction. As a result, they are left none the wiser that their constant fatigue, their feeling of isolation, lack of self confidence, lack of interest in actual sex, and relationship issues can be traced back to their porn-watching habits.
Here at The Mindful Habit, we advocate the principle of breaking a harmful habit or addiction by replacing it with positive behaviors. While breaking free from the shackles of porn addiction is hard, you should know that quickly breaking your porn-watching pattern is possible, and it begins with you being aware of your Red Zone.
We define the Red Zone as the time and place where you watch the overwhelming majority of your pornographic materials. Being conscious of your Red Zone is important because, while you might believe that your life is in total shambles, much of the problem can actually be traced back to the time you spend watching porn while in your Red Zone.
To cut back or eliminate on your porn consumption, you have to strike the impulse to watch when you are vulnerable. Here are seven simple ways to do it:
Shut off the Internet – Pornography can be easily accessed as images through dedicated porn blogs and as videos through pornographic “tube” sites, where they simply get streamed and no downloading is necessary. Thus, shutting the Internet off can contribute a great deal to your effort to quit porn. Literally, TURN IT OFF.
Shut off devices after a certain time – Devote the time you use on your gadgets to innocuous activities like messaging your friends, using social media, or reading the news. Set a certain amount of time for these activities, and shut the device off immediately after you are done doing them.
Keep devices in a different room – As the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” Keeping your devices in a different room in your house cuts off your easy access to pornographic materials. The same technique can be used when you are in a vehicle. You can keep your smartphone or tablet locked in the dashboard compartment or in the trunk to prevent yourself from viewing porn while you’re in the car.
Keep devices in a common area in your home – Put your devices in an area that is frequented by other members of your family or other tenants in your place of residence. When you leave your laptop or desktop computer in an area where you don’t have the privacy you require in order to view porn, you are more likely to be discouraged to access such materials. And no phones in the bathroom!
Use other forms of entertainment – You should also ask yourself what other activities you can do to make your time in the Red Zone more productive. One of these is to engage in other forms of entertainment, like watching movies, reading books, and playing video games, board games, pool, or table soccer. I pick up a Walking Dead comic book.
Get physical – Habitually watching porn can cause people to become desensitized to what would normally be considered pleasurable (e.g. seeing sexual images), because routine masturbation constantly bathes the brain and the nervous system in the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. Conversely, physical activities like running, aerobic exercises, yoga, and so on can serve as healthy substitutes to pornography by releasing just the right amount of dopamine, giving people a natural high. Thus, exercising is recommended for people battling addiction, anxiety, and depression.
Perform mindfulness activities – We describe mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgement.” It is exactly the opposite of habit, which can be seen as an automatic reaction to external stimuli. There are many mindfulness activities you can perform, from mindful breathing and simple mindfulness to everything in between. These activities will help you regain mastery of your thoughts and emotions.
Pornography can have a profound effect on your relationships and your way of life. You might feel that your situation is hopeless, but with persistence and careful adoption of more positive behaviors, you can hope to gain back your sense of self control and self respect. As a result, you can begin cultivating healthy relationships and practicing authentic intimacy in your life once more.